You’ll forgive me if I indulge in my own sentiments for a moment. For there are individuals that affect your life in a truly significant way and for me, Carol is one of those few people.
I don’t recall the exact instance this clarity of understanding occurred. I do, however, remember vividly the petite, glasses wearing elementary student. A permed brunette, lover of all things purple and unicorns-- and even better yet, purple unicorns, who at the age of 8 already exuded a fashion forward confidence and magnanimous personality. People have always been drawn to Carol and I was no exception.
I am able to mentally scan through the archives of my mind, sifting through the utilitarian filing cabinets, plastic-covered bins and crowded sock drawers overflowing with the moments she and I have spent with each other, the memories we created and I am grateful.
Grateful for so much laughter, buoyed up by the stolen moments wherein we opened our souls to each other under heart-covered comforters in our parent’s living rooms. Morose over the shenanigans we survived and overwhelmed by the purely, unadulterated love that I feel for her.
Photographs from over the many years of our friendship capture many of our moments in still. Looking through these photographs I am unsurprisingly struck by the continuing recurrence of Carol and I posing next to each other, most often holding onto each other, regardless of who else might be in the photograph. This is not surprising because it is how I always wanted to be and to find that this sentiment had been caught in print for me was genuinely pleasing. These captured images still hold some of my happiest memories to date.
You see, I have always been in awe of Carol, admired her in so many ways, looked up to her and desired to emulate her. The compassion and love she exudes, the fun, fly by the seat of your pants attitude she proudly dons. The tutelary friend she has always been, the devoted mother, the ardent wife. This is the type of person I would like to be. This is the person who's friendship I sincerely treasure.
As I have had the opportunity to sit at Carol’s hospital bed, resting my hand on her shoulder, soundlessly praying for her comfort, her character of strength and solicitude has never waned.
We have cried together, we have chatted like the high school girls we once were and we have sat in silence, comforted merely by the others' presence.
Carol has been asked to face challenges that would have fell Goliath sans pebble and she continues to do so with grace and determination.
We are now both in our 30’s, mothers of small children, busy with life and there have been times where the circle of perpetual schedules has come between our contact with each other and that is something I deeply regret.
Regardless of the frequency or lack there of or the distance in miles between us, I am eternally grateful and abundantly thankful that our lives paths crossed so many years ago. To me Carol has always been and will always be one of my dearest friends, someone who holds a very special place in my heart.
In the eye of this tragedy I have never been more aware than as I am now that I am not alone in my sentiments. There are so many who care deeply for Carol, for her family, for her well-being. What a wonderful testament to the outstanding person she is to witness the outpouring of love and support that has come from so many in these past few months.
I say “Thank you” to each of you because you have reaffirmed my belief in the compassion of strangers and loved ones alike.
“Thank you” because, selfishly, I needed to do something in this situation and this Auction became that and
“Thank you” because I know Carol would want nothing more than to say it to each of you herself.
~ Erica
Carol's husband, Scott, planned a birthday celebration for Carol's 34th this year.
(To be completely correct, Lisa called Scott and told him he should put something together because she wanted to have all of us girlfriends gather together for Carol's birthday--she is a kick!) After spending a vast majority of the month of July in WA, driving back and forth with a car full of small children, I had no plan of being there. As the event quickly approached, Lisa contacted me again to see if I were going. I hated the idea that I would be the only friend in our little "group" that wasn't going to be there and so only a few days before my brain started to churn. The older kids were in California with Verl completely enjoying themselves and as per usual calling very little. Michael and I were simply hanging out at home. I really did not want to make that drive again and did not have money for the cost of it all and this is where Lisa offered to have us ride with her and her husband, Jay, to Seattle. I arranged for Michael to stay with his Dad while I was there, called Mom to ask if we could stay a night there and back with her rather than have the cost of another night in hotels and raced to the University mall to quickly search for something to wear.
We left the next day, Thursday morning, and drove to Pasco. The drive was long and littered with numerous stops for soda and food and bathroom breaks, etc. Michael was not extremely happy that we were back in the car a mere week after returning and my arms fell asleep as I wrapped them awkwardly around his car seat to keep him from hitting, but eventually we made it. Dear Mom let us crash in her back bedrooms, only to have us wake up first thing the next morning and leave again. Without showering and full of coffee, we took the Vantage path to Seattle. Kim and Kari left a half hour before us from the TC, but we still managed to meet up in Ellensburg at virtually the same time for lunch. Kari had lived there while attending Central and took us to this really great deli where I had an awesome spinach salad-- the carry over from spending weeks with Mom and Becky and their 'green' diet which frankly speaking makes you feel really great. (Now all I need is the uber-expensive juicer!)
Lisa had found a good deal on a very nice hotel and so we went there first to check in and get ready for dinner. I got a terrible scare when the lady at the front desk said my credit card wouldn't go through. It ended up being that my Bank had put a hold on my account five days before because of a random charge they were unsure about. It was the $14.95 fee to begin Carol's Voice Quilt and my birthday gift to her. Guess I am glad my bank is aware but boy, it made me nervous.
Once we were all cleaned up, the cameras came out and were not put away until we found ourselves in our own beds in our own homes two days later. Kim asked that I drive her mini van to the restaurant as she is scared to navigate around the 'big city.' I agreed and it didn't take us long to find parking. Once on the street, the four of us girls and one husband, Jay, searched for the Wild Ginger restaurant. With no less than two GPS systems in hand we struggled for quite some time trying to find the restaurant. I had to get a picture of our crew standing on the street corner, moments after we realized it was DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET!
The restaurant was very beautiful and very busy and we were quickly ushered upstairs for the "Decker party." Many friends and family were gathered as we were a little late and Scott welcomed us warmly. I scanned the crowd and asked him where Carol was. He smiled widely and pointed to this lovely woman who was standing amongst her guests, her back towards me.
Carol had made a goal that if she was going to have this big ole' party she was going to WALK IN BY HERSELF AND IN HEELS! AND SHE DID JUST THAT!
We got in a hug a piece before cameras started flashing again.
Dinner was amazing! Such yummy food! And as is the case with most large gatherings, the conversation was sporadic as everyone was spread out but between the two large tables of the party. Our table was definitely the most boisterous!
After dinner, slices of rich chocolate cake with fresh coconut shavings and a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream were passed around. Carol's piece held one lit candle and after Scott had proposed a lovely toast to Carol and the loved ones that had gathered we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. Scott threw his arm around Carol as they blew out the candle together. Tears freely slipped from my eyes as I remembered just last year on Carol's birthday and the changes a year of time has made. Last year, she lay in Intensive Care hooked to countless machines and fighting for her life. She was rarely conscious, her body ravaged with sickness and most unaware. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and amazed at her tenacity to overcome such circumstances.
Carol was quite tired and decided to return home after dinner. The six of us, Kim, Kari, Nicole, Lisa, Jay and myself, walked around the corner to a local hang out and did just that..hung out for a little while longer. Again, we took pictures and of course continued to laugh and laugh.
The next morning, I personally was graced with a loud and annoyingly cheerful wake-up call from Lisa. I was told to get up and get in the shower. I was also told that breakfast would be at 9am, only to later find out everyone else was not planning on eating until 9:30. (Carly pulls that trick on me as well.) Breakfast was delicious and the company was better. Nicole brought her husband and two darling children and it was nice to see them. For dessert? Hugs and, of course, more pictures.
I must admit, I adore many of the pictures that were captured. Not because I look all that great but because so many of them capture Carol and me sharing that 'special something' we have between us. At dinner, I loved that she knew she could turn towards me to ask what was in front of her or for more sparkling water or which direction to 'look' for the pictures...anything. I love that she would turn to me between camera flashes to whisper some hilarious comment about this or that only to have the next photograph capture me -eyes closed and mouth wide open in laughter and her quickly recovered in smile.
We returned to Utah on Monday. It was a whirl wind trip but I am so very glad I went. I am so glad I got to spend time with some great friends. Each of us has our quirks. Each of us have spent time not in constant contact with each other. But this weekend, each of us echoed their gratitude that we have gathered once again together as dear friends.. Perhaps that can be considered a positive stemmed from Carol's incident. For me, it truly is. I am so glad that I was able to celebrate Carol and her 34th birthday! So grateful!
